...Because it's just too fast...
...the weekend's over.
I can finally honestly say, that work is making me depressed.
it's not so much ABOUT the work, i kinda enjoy it, i'm learning lots of things...
it's just that it's a big corporation run like a small struggling chinese shipping company, and more imptly:
i've been working every saturday for the past two months, and every saturday for the next couple of months to come.
I thought my contract said 5 day week? or at least, 8hrs a day, such that if i pull a 9 hr day, the next day i'd do a 7?
why am i on a permanent 10am-10pm (i even pulled a 9am-11pm one before), and sats 11-6pm ???? though now i'm on an "off-season" two weeks, i could, as they say - claim the hours off they keep telling me, but with only me to hold the fort, how on earth can i claim the hours off? though over the past week ive been to work in the day and leaving at 6, i was stressing out about things like getting the chemicals and equipment ordered in before lessons start on the 30th - no mean feat, considering, that i'm a biologist ordering chemist's equipment, flipping catalogues and seeking cheaper alternatives to save money.
fuck it, the friends keep saying, and push the deadlines.
but my deadlines are not ordinary deadlines.
it's like a newspaper article - print is on this day, at this time. so like a newspaper, my classes are on this day, and on this time. whether i'm prepared or not, the classes just keep coming. and do you think, pple will go "oh it's the company's fault that the classes cant run" ?? no, it'll be that they have hired a lousy employee, so that's why the classes cant run. and MY reputation is ruined, because of how things are running - and being the place that it is, many players in the industry (ie future employers.) interact with me and see my work performance.
how?
i now have 65.5 hrs of unclaimed leave.
I miss my family, i miss my friends, i miss not being able to spend the time with pple i want to spend my time with, i miss being able to leave at 6pm to meet up with other pple who leave at 6pm. i'm tired of my creaky knees and body that never gets enough rest because i'm up and walking and working physically and mentally nonstop 6 days a week. if i get enough rest, my knees dont creak as much.
i'm tired of all the chemicals i'm inhaling and all the injuries i keep getting (cut/knock on head, acid burns etc) because of the mad rush to get things done all by myself.
the only thing that keeps me going is that my new manager whom i know i will feel sorry for leaving in the lurch if i just have a mental breakdown and leave, and the idea that it will look bad on my resume to leave before completing my probation.
the boss looks at me as a worker, and not a human being - that's the only reason, sad but true, that i can think of. he's just goddamn lucky to have always encountered employees with a sense of responsibility so far - and the employees damn unlucky to have good work ethics just pounded out of them.
Spoke to the another lady the other day who is quitting, and leaving very soon. she's had it worse than me. she's been leaving the office regularly at 1am , for 2 years, until her husband proclaimed that if she came home after 12 one more time, he will change all the locks in the house.
she's the real angry employee, man. but while i was talking to her, she was stressing out over how she was going to handover her work to someone else -such a responsible person right? any other human being will just be fucking it already. I ask her, why bother, she says that she will feel bad for the next person taking over her work, as that person would have so much to deal with.
Alas, i've learnt my lesson. strangely my company's kinda like an MNC right now, so much for better treatment eh. perhaps i should just go back to teaching? At least with all the stress and long hours, i'll be earning more $$.
:(
damn depressed, i need a beer, a holiday and a good long hot shower.
g'night.
I can finally honestly say, that work is making me depressed.
it's not so much ABOUT the work, i kinda enjoy it, i'm learning lots of things...
it's just that it's a big corporation run like a small struggling chinese shipping company, and more imptly:
i've been working every saturday for the past two months, and every saturday for the next couple of months to come.
I thought my contract said 5 day week? or at least, 8hrs a day, such that if i pull a 9 hr day, the next day i'd do a 7?
why am i on a permanent 10am-10pm (i even pulled a 9am-11pm one before), and sats 11-6pm ???? though now i'm on an "off-season" two weeks, i could, as they say - claim the hours off they keep telling me, but with only me to hold the fort, how on earth can i claim the hours off? though over the past week ive been to work in the day and leaving at 6, i was stressing out about things like getting the chemicals and equipment ordered in before lessons start on the 30th - no mean feat, considering, that i'm a biologist ordering chemist's equipment, flipping catalogues and seeking cheaper alternatives to save money.
fuck it, the friends keep saying, and push the deadlines.
but my deadlines are not ordinary deadlines.
it's like a newspaper article - print is on this day, at this time. so like a newspaper, my classes are on this day, and on this time. whether i'm prepared or not, the classes just keep coming. and do you think, pple will go "oh it's the company's fault that the classes cant run" ?? no, it'll be that they have hired a lousy employee, so that's why the classes cant run. and MY reputation is ruined, because of how things are running - and being the place that it is, many players in the industry (ie future employers.) interact with me and see my work performance.
how?
i now have 65.5 hrs of unclaimed leave.
I miss my family, i miss my friends, i miss not being able to spend the time with pple i want to spend my time with, i miss being able to leave at 6pm to meet up with other pple who leave at 6pm. i'm tired of my creaky knees and body that never gets enough rest because i'm up and walking and working physically and mentally nonstop 6 days a week. if i get enough rest, my knees dont creak as much.
i'm tired of all the chemicals i'm inhaling and all the injuries i keep getting (cut/knock on head, acid burns etc) because of the mad rush to get things done all by myself.
the only thing that keeps me going is that my new manager whom i know i will feel sorry for leaving in the lurch if i just have a mental breakdown and leave, and the idea that it will look bad on my resume to leave before completing my probation.
the boss looks at me as a worker, and not a human being - that's the only reason, sad but true, that i can think of. he's just goddamn lucky to have always encountered employees with a sense of responsibility so far - and the employees damn unlucky to have good work ethics just pounded out of them.
Spoke to the another lady the other day who is quitting, and leaving very soon. she's had it worse than me. she's been leaving the office regularly at 1am , for 2 years, until her husband proclaimed that if she came home after 12 one more time, he will change all the locks in the house.
she's the real angry employee, man. but while i was talking to her, she was stressing out over how she was going to handover her work to someone else -such a responsible person right? any other human being will just be fucking it already. I ask her, why bother, she says that she will feel bad for the next person taking over her work, as that person would have so much to deal with.
Alas, i've learnt my lesson. strangely my company's kinda like an MNC right now, so much for better treatment eh. perhaps i should just go back to teaching? At least with all the stress and long hours, i'll be earning more $$.
:(
damn depressed, i need a beer, a holiday and a good long hot shower.
g'night.
Cheers, jo @ 10:50 PM
1 Comments:
Poor thing lah you. If cannot take working there anymore just quit and find another job la. Sounds like at the rate you're going, you're gonna be ageing 10x faster than the rest of us. :S Be here if ya need me.. tata
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