it's the eve
so fast.
the year's come to an end already. i think, it's gonna be a quiet evening for me. no clubbing loud music or alcohol to usher in the new year.
from all my memory of NYE, it's always been depressing. it's different from x'mas. x'mas is more communal, everyone celebrates together. but new year, no, new years are for twos. don't mean to sound desperate, but it's true what. pple do count down and the clock strikes, and suddenly u find, thats u're starkly alone as the night crosses into the morning of the new year, as all your friends and family grab their loved one (ie the other half lah. i'm sure they love me too, just not the same way. haha) for that obligatory new year kiss and hug.
gee whiz, no wonder NYE is the night with the highest suicides.
i never escape it, even if i chill with my parents and sister. my parents will hug each other, my sis will hug her husband, and i just stand there not knowing what to do with myself and the pple around u suddenly feel obligated to make u seem less alone. oh u know, the "oh! *hug*".
and funnily enough, tho i was in a relationship that had spanned across the previous new year, we didnt celebrate it because i was shifting house. and even if we stayed together, i doubt we would've celebrated it either, it just wasnt the kind of thing the relationship was used to - well to me at least.
so i wonder, if it's me. i wonder that if i dread the new year so much, that even with the partner to spare me from the dreaded moment when the hands on the clock convene at 12 and the crowd parts around u (leaving a ring of void blegh), i would still find nye utterly depressing. for the sake of melodramatism i ask - have all those years of tortured nyes resulted in a self-fulfilling prophecy of tortured nyes forever?
in any case,
Happy New Year!
the year's come to an end already. i think, it's gonna be a quiet evening for me. no clubbing loud music or alcohol to usher in the new year.
from all my memory of NYE, it's always been depressing. it's different from x'mas. x'mas is more communal, everyone celebrates together. but new year, no, new years are for twos. don't mean to sound desperate, but it's true what. pple do count down and the clock strikes, and suddenly u find, thats u're starkly alone as the night crosses into the morning of the new year, as all your friends and family grab their loved one (ie the other half lah. i'm sure they love me too, just not the same way. haha) for that obligatory new year kiss and hug.
gee whiz, no wonder NYE is the night with the highest suicides.
i never escape it, even if i chill with my parents and sister. my parents will hug each other, my sis will hug her husband, and i just stand there not knowing what to do with myself and the pple around u suddenly feel obligated to make u seem less alone. oh u know, the "oh! *hug*".
and funnily enough, tho i was in a relationship that had spanned across the previous new year, we didnt celebrate it because i was shifting house. and even if we stayed together, i doubt we would've celebrated it either, it just wasnt the kind of thing the relationship was used to - well to me at least.
so i wonder, if it's me. i wonder that if i dread the new year so much, that even with the partner to spare me from the dreaded moment when the hands on the clock convene at 12 and the crowd parts around u (leaving a ring of void blegh), i would still find nye utterly depressing. for the sake of melodramatism i ask - have all those years of tortured nyes resulted in a self-fulfilling prophecy of tortured nyes forever?
in any case,
Happy New Year!
Cheers, jo @ 12:14 PM
1 Comments:
Laffs. Even with all the dreads and blah, you still have ended youself in Wala wala. Bet you got that hug u wanted. Bet too that you had a blast before the new year arrives.
I think before the year ended, it has thought you one thing. Dun count the chick before it hatch. Be happy, Jo. Hugs.
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